Whenever it gets close to May, I always become more depressed than usual. I personally think it's a flashback to May of 1997, when I first became truly depressed after my personal 'Great Crash.' A whole lot of things happened at once, putting me into a state of depression that was so bad, I actually had genuine suicidal thoughts. Thankfully I never went through with them, otherwise I never would be here today.
I'm happy to say that this year is better than last year so far, as well as what things were like in 1997. Unfortunately, it seems that negative emotion still seeps back unconsciously, so it can't really be helped.
I'm just glad I have friends like you reading this journal, and I send my appreciation (and hugs to my female friends) to each and every one of you.
Friends (if I forgot you or want to be added, let me know):